Life for Rent

BSW (Bisexual Super Whore)

definenormal@hotmail.com — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 04:27:31 GMT

Just a little song I've been writing. Thoughts? :)

-X-

You like girls and you like boys

And so you came to play

I didn’t see it coming

Then you stole my heart away

Kissing, touching, loving

And you did it with a smile

You took my heart and then

You left me hanging for a while

You’re just a bisexual super whore

Have me hangin’ on a string

Then leave me on the floor

Just a bisexual super whore

Tease me with your kisses

Then you leave me wantin’

More more more…

Bathroom Stalls and Dormitory Halls

definenormal@hotmail.com — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 23:03:06 GMT

Okay. Here's the thing.

My RA thought it would be a neat idea to try something he called "Bathroom Babble" which means he'd put up a sheet of paper in the bathroom with a question and we could respond to it anonymously. His first question was "What do you want to do this year?" The first response: "Fuck Sexii Bitches". Other responses included thoughts about sharing a pen while taking a shit, saying "I'm Gay!" or just making fun of other people's comments...

Now I'm not sure what sparked me to do it, but after I get done reading through all of the highly intelligent comments, I decide to write one of my own. I don't have the paper in front of me but it went something like this-

"It's nice to see that immaturity extends past high school. I'm not saying the prompt was interesting, but if you didn't like it you didn't have to write anything. Way to be guys."

I check back today and see I've gotten feedback! The first one simply said "Booooo" with an arrow pointing to my comment. The second one had an arrow pointing between my comment and the one saying "I'm Gay!" with the statement "Same Guy". And lastly was a rather lengthy comment saying something along the lines of-

"Wow. Its nice to see that you can be so narrow-minded and stuck up. Way to go."

To which I responded-

"It doesn't take much maturity to learn "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." And I'm pretty sure that calling girls "sexii bitches" and saying "I'm Gay" is pretty narrow-minded. Just sayin'."

And maybe commenting like that is stuck up. Maybe I should've followed my own advice and said nothing at all. But you know what? It pisses me off when people act so incredibly stupid. Writing about pooping and homosexuality and whoring yourself out and using it as a joke? Seriously what are we, fourteen? I'm sorry, doing that kind of shit when an RA is clearly just trying to get his residents involved in something he thinks might be interesting isn't funny, its not cool, its just immature. And while I don't think it was necessary for me to comment as well, I think our generation, especially the guys, needs to learn a little lesson and GROW THE FUCK UP.

...just saying. :)

-Andrew

Unfortunate Update

definenormal@hotmail.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 05:52:25 GMT

So...

You remember Dan, right? The freshman who decided I was just a one night stand? Well I went to a party last night and he was there. I saw him, and I had this weird attack of emotion. So bizarre. I mean, it sucked to be a one time thing, but I didn't realize I still felt so strongly about it until I was faced with him. Talk about your "Sex and the City" moment, right? Long story short, I had to go outside for a bit to mentally compose myself (or something like that) and headed back in.

All in all the party experience was pretty awkward. I think he was relatively drunk, and even if he hadn't been I'm not sure what I would've said to him. I wasn't even sure if we were supposed to act like we knew each other. It was just kind of crappy because the whole time I was having a mini battle with myself over whether or not to leave well enough alone. I spent most of the party mentally stopping myself from trying to get with him again.

It was only this morning when my worst fears were confirmed. That night Dan ended up hooking up with Kenny, a friend/acquaintance of mine. And that news was, to put it bluntly, awful. I don't know what it is. Maybe its because all I heard last year was how annoying people thought Kenny was. And how much people didn't like him, or how they could only take him in small doses. Whereas people generally like me. I mean not everyone does, but I feel like they're in a small minority. And that sounds egotistical but I'm sorry, for the most part its true. In general I'm a pretty likable person...it just confuses me I guess. How could I lose to someone like that?

In fairness to me, Dan could just be (in my friend Mary's words) a man whore. What happened with Kenny could very well have been a one night stand. I don't know exactly what happened. From what Liz said, it sounded like a one time thing...and even if it wasn't, do I really have a right to be upset? I met Dan with the intention of doing something NSA (no strings attached) so it shouldn't have surprised me that there were to be no repeats.

And if he is with Kenny? Well then good for him. If nothing else, that's one less person in the La Crosse Dating Desert. I'm not the kind of person to be upset with someone for a situation out of their control. Or at least that's not the sort of person that I want to be. Would I be jealous? Of course. But would I hold it against him? No.

In reality? Things in La Crosse aren't so bad. Tonight some friends and I made cosmos and watched Sex and the City: The Movie, and the play is going really well as are my classes. Plus did I mention I'm going to Paris? ;)

But I miss you guys. I have some great friends here, but I wish you guys were around so you could be living all of this with me and not have to hear about it through LiveJournal. It would make life so much easier. Plus a hell of a lot more interesting for you guys! ;)

Anyway its slowly getting closer to 1 o'clock, so I should probably start wrapping this up. The point of this ramble? Life is crazy, and I miss you terribly. Hope all is well (and slightly less dramatic) with you.

Much Love,
Andrew

Well Armed

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 18:23:19 GMT

I've found a weapon to combat my obsessive romantic tendencies. Its name? Clarification. And it is a powerful thing. I was a one time thing. And that really hurts but you know what? I'm going to get over it. And at least I didn't spend weeks wondering and worrying and hoping only to never get closure. Its like tearing off a Band-Aid. If you just do the damn thing and get it over with it will hurt but it will be done with. If you wait around and hope it just comes off over time then it spends days on your skin nagging at you until it finally falls off one day.

And I prefer to tear my bandages off thank you.

Unexpected

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 07:56:03 GMT

I wasn't a stranger to the game.

You post, someone responds, you exchange emails (possibly numbers) you meet up you do stuff and you leave. Usually the people you meet aren't particularly engaging or even ridiculously attractive so its easy not to get attached.

What doesn't happen is you meet with someone and talk for what seems like forever, all the while feeling this amazing chemistry, only to have the attraction quadruple when he touches you.

...fuck.

And here I thought I was over the whole obsessive crushing thing. I even used Jeff as my proof! I said, "Look at me world! I have a crush on this guy but I'm not an obsessed freak! I've improved!" The reality of the situation is of course that I simply didn't like Jeff all that much and that the main reason I was attracted to him was because I thought he was attracted to me.

And along came Daniel...explosive, fantastic, wonderful. It would figure that when I actually like a guy there's a good chance it will go nowhere because the relationship started off with me saying "Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?" (not literally, but along those lines of thought)

...I shouldn't freak out about this. Not only are there about a million and one attractive gay/bi/curious guys in the world but I don't even know that this was a one time thing. There's a possibility that he could be feeling the same way. So I need to calm my shit and wait this thing out. Basically I need to stop assuming all of these feelings he's having when I have no proof of anything other than the fact that he liked my company.

Also, I should probably refrain from working my problems out via livejournal post from now on...

Night all!

That One Movie About Cooking

definenormal@hotmail.com — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 04:42:50 GMT

So I saw Julie and Julia tonight with my mom...it wasn't as good as I'd hoped. But it did make me want to cook, and also blog more, so I guess it was a positive experience?

The only problem is I really don't have anything to blog about...I mean we bought a microwave and a coffee maker for my dorm today so that was exciting...but other than that? Meh.

I don't want to go to work tomorrow. :p

Did You Forget?

definenormal@hotmail.com — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:46:53 GMT

Note: This will be very thought-oriented and I apologize. I usually don't edit my journal entries. :)

I have faults. I will admit I have faults and tonight/this morning I will admit two of them.

1) I care way too much.
2) I'm bad with percentages.

Now you'd think these two wouldn't be linked but if anyone is reading this than y'all understand what I mean. No its not that I didn't realize that I said she was a bitch both 80 and 85 percent of the time. I did catch that even when I wrote it (although I didn't realize it would be that big of a deal). It's just that the more I think about it, the more I feel that my whole 20-80 split thing should've been reversed.

80% Lovely
20% Bitch

Now normally being a bitch 20% of the time wouldn't matter that much, but really after a while the 20% sort of poisoned the 80.

You're probably wondering what brought on this post. And if you aren't I'm going to tell you anyway so feign interest.

As I'm sure I've told you, after having read all of the livejournal/email exchanges Deanna emailed Mel. And she responded. I don't have a copy of said email, but Deanna described it like this: "She said that I'm free to have my own opinion and she respects that, but she's standing by what she said." Which means I doubt there will be any sort of rational/remotely apologetic email coming my way.

Now I know that I should just be able to get over this. Obviously if our friendship meant so little to her that she could break it off due to heresy it wasn't a friendship worth having. My brain tells me that I should feel that way. And really, I don't want to be friends with someone who can't admit they're wrong in any capacity or even say I'm sorry when everyone is telling them they were out of line.

Its just so damn hard, you know? I look around my room and see collages she made me, pictures she took, clothes we bought, books we exchanged, pictures of her. Even on my computer every other song, document, and picture has something to do with her. And very little of it reminds me of anything bad or hurtful.

Was she a bitch sometimes? Yes. Could she be annoying as all f*ck? Yes. Does she need to learn to apologize? Yes. But I still care. And I hate that.

Deanna says we need some time apart from one another. And while she admits it's a slim possiblity, she says to keep hoping and maybe things will work out.

She could be right. While she can be a relatively solitary creature, I think Melissa needs good friends just as much as the rest of us. And while Ellen is lovely and her flist amply supportive, I can't help but think she has to miss us at least a little.

I'm not sure why I felt the need to write a livejournal post about all of this. I'm sure that I'll probably end up discussing these things with you eventually if you're reading this. I'd like to say its for Melissa herself, but seeing as we are no longer mutual livejournal friends I don't think she'll even see that I updated unless she went looking.

If she is reading this...well I suppose I haven't said anything revolutionary or groundbreaking. If she doesn't know by now that I miss her and care about her and want to resolve our friendship then I'm left to marvel/wonder at the fact that she tricked us all into thinking she could read....Although I guess that would explain why she's still not willing to at least talk. And it is a much nicer explanation than pigheadedness.

Anyway folks. Its almost 2 AM and while I don't work tomorrow I'm somewhat tired. It's bedtime for me. I hope things are going well for all of you. Things here are pretty normal otherwise.

Love And Stuff,
Andrew

2:30 AM Update

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 07:29:26 GMT

Just wanted to apologize for the freakout. I had just had a talk with my mom that boiled down to "Your car isn't getting fixed. We don't have a ton of money right now. I'm not sure how we're paying for your college. You should re-apply at Culvers tomorrow."

Or something to that effect. It was just something I needed to get out of my system. But I'm feeling a little better now. At least I may be able to get a job at Sentry?? Cross your fingers and PRAY people!!

-sigh-

Wouldn't it be nice if I could just win American Idol and not worry about any of this? Here's hoping! ~_^

Love and Stuff,
Andrew

KILL ME

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sun, 14 Jun 2009 00:25:33 GMT

SOMEONE FUCKING SHOOT ME. I'D SAY THAT LARGELY AND IN BOLD BUT THE EFFING "RICH TEXT" SHIT WON'T WORK!

F

M

L

More News

definenormal@hotmail.com — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:50:31 GMT

So my mom suspects that my dad is having an affair. Its an intuition thing. And apparently her evidence was "too personal" to disclose to me...I'm assuming it was a bedroom thing in which case it falls under the category of "glad not to know"

Actually, her suspicions ALSO fall under that category as now it has me worrying about it.

Of course it could all be nothing. It could be a combination of a ton of stuff hitting her at once (Pat not in college, me with no job, Dillon with no ambition, MENOPAUSE) and I really hope that's it but...still.

I know there's no use worrying about it, but for now I can't really help it. I can't see my dad doing that but who knows? People surprise you.

-sigh-

I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Sighing that is. It doesn't help that livejournal is being stupid and not letting me do italicize and bold my notes. And it cuts out half of the typing screen so I can't see when I hit enter.

On a good note, Deanna's trying to get me to put on "Dark Play" this summer and while I realize it probably won't work its a really good distraction. Now all we need is a Rachel/Molly and a place to do this thing. And..other stuff...but we don't have to get into it. :)

I went out for coffee today with Sara Sam and we got to talking about it and it actually kind of turned into a production meeting with Deanna on cell phone. It was kinda cool. :)

And if nothing else the show will have good music! ~_^

Okay, I think that's all I feel like sharing for now. I'm probably going to go watch the last episode of Season 4 of The Office. Let's hope its uplifting!

Hope everyone's doing well!

Love and Stuff,
Andrew

News

definenormal@hotmail.com — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 04:44:36 GMT

Short post.

I failed my Music Theory class. FML.

Just So You Know

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sun, 31 May 2009 06:29:56 GMT

Okay.

I know it would probably make more sense to just edit my last post and include this...but I don't want to! ~_^

I just wanted to let all of you who are reading this know that I'm okay. I really am, I promise. I'm trying to be strong about this and not get all teary and whatnot. Because really, its not worth it, you know? I had a relatively good time at Vanessa's graduation party, got to see my two favorite dogs (Max and Baxter (I let them out and gave them water while Finland was at a wedding...forgot to say that...)) and watched the Office with Molly-Pat, Dillon, his friend/love interest Sam(antha) and kinda my mom. And THEN I got to talk to a ton of friends on facebook chat! ..And Aaron...which was nice because we cleared things up. For now, we're friends. (with possible benefits ~_^) But we are NOT just a make-out thing. The feeling was mutual. ^_^

So for now I'm feeling okay. A little down, but nothing that's going to keep me from living my life, you know?

-sigh-

I hope that all of your lives are WAY less drama-filled than mine, and that aside from the normal pains of working and leading crazy "I'm in the middle of my college life" lives, you're all doing okay.

I love you all and I'm looking forward to seeing ALL of you relatively soon. ~_^

Love and Sweet Dreams,
Andrew

The Shit Has Hit The Fan (metaphorically speaking)

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sun, 31 May 2009 06:17:20 GMT

So this last Thursday my dad asked me to take Dillon to his trombone lesson at The Music Cafe so he didn't have to. And since I was bribed with the chance to drive his car and get me some coffee, I went. It was on the drive there that I realized I'd left my cell phone at home. I figured it was no big deal since his lesson was only a half hour.

It was a nice half hour. I got to chat up Kaitlin Goodden who I hadn't seen in a while and I got a really good latte. It wasn't until I came home that the real fun began. I walked in to find my mom and dad having a conversation in the kitchen. Normal. But what wasn't normal was my cell phone lying open on the table to my sent messages. I picked it up and immediately looked at my mom who just kind of smiled.

Now normally this wouldn't be that big of a deal. I mean yeah I'd be pissed that my mom had looked through my messages, but whatever its not like its that important. Except that many of those messages had been with Aaron. And a lot of them revolved around us meeting up again. And at least one of them mentioned kissing and a few were a little suggestive. And THEN there were the texts with my friend Allyssa asking "so what do you do when someone insinuates they want to have sex with you but you're in no way ready"...so yeah. She read those.

For a while I wasn't sure what to do. I mean I wasn't POSITIVE that she'd read them. And even if she did I had no idea as to which ones she read. So I decided to ignore it. Like with the subject of my bisexuality, it didn't have to be an issue if we didn't talk about it....wow, doesn't that sound terrible? Anyway, I ignored it. But then I actually had to talk to her that night. She was sitting in the living room and I said, "Hey, two things." And proceeded to ask her if I'd be able to drive her into work tomorrow so I could use her car to job hunt, and also to tell her that Nina and Zena would be arriving soon to hang out at Pewaukee Lake. Now it was sometime during this that she took advantage of a break in the conversation to say, "You know...I really shouldn't have read your text messages...it was stupid because...honestly? ...It was...disturbing." To which I proceeded to talk about finding a job because A) Dillon was in the room and B) I just didn't want to talk about it! And then further into the conversation she squeezes in, "So where does Aaron live?" to which I responded, "Watertown" and continued talking about the lake or something.

Yeah...super awkward. Almost as awkward as us driving to Park View the next morning. We really didn't say much, just listened to the radio. I mentioned something about how it was weird that Jane got fired from the Jane and Kid show and stuff like that. And I kind of thought that we'd make it all the way there without talking about it. Apparently she was just biding her time because it was at the stoplights by Park View when she said, "You know...I think of all the gay men I know and...quite frankly...they disgust me." A little taken aback I said, "Didn't you say you had gay friends in college?" And she gets all indignant and says, "I had ONE gay friend...and his life was very tragic because of it." As if that's supposed to mean something. Keep in mind that this is the same friend she was raving about to Molly over dinner a few nights before this. Molly has a gay roommate named Calvin and she brought up something he did and my mom was all laughs and smiles and said, "Yeah, I had a friend in college and he did stuff with guys, he did stuff with girls. I think he leaned more towards guys, but he was always the best to talk to. We talked about everything and it was great because he could always give me the perfect male perspective." At the time I had thought that this was kind of her way of telling me she was accepting and that if I wanted to talk about it, we could. Boy was I wrong.

So while we were turning into Park View she's talking at me about how she hates being lied to (I'm assuming she was referring to the fact that I told her about the girls at school I wanted to date. Which was true. I just didn't tell her about the boys ~_^) and stuff like that I can't remember exactly what. So in an effort to fix the situation I said, "Well mom, just to clear things up, I'm not full-out gay. I like girls. I've kissed girls. I've kissed more than one girl. And another thing. My life isn't tragic. This isn't going to make my life tragic." Because you know I figured maybe she was just arfraid for me or something. But instead of really responding, she got snippy and said, "Well Andrew, you always have and always will just do what you want, so whatever." And started to get out of the car. I said, "Have a nice day at school!" with as much sincerity as I could muster and all I got was another, "Whatever" and a car door slammed in my face. Fantastic.

The best part was I got to pick her up from work that afternoon too! However not wanting to have a repeat of the morning I called everyone I knew until I got ahold of my friend Tiffany from school. I explained the situation to her while I was waiting for my mom to come out to the parking lot (she ended up being 20 minutes late. Typical) and talked to her the whole way home without saying anything to my mom...I'm still not sure if that just made the situation worse or not.

Regardless, nothing further happened that night. Oh no, it wasn't until this morning when the fun part started. I was woken up by my mother storming around the room doing laundry. All I remember is her being all pissed and giving me a big lecture on how being gay was wrong. I can't remember too many specifics because...well I had just woken up...but I do remember her saying "You know Andrew, I have never been embarrassed or ashamed of the things you've done. But I am. I am embarrassed and ashamed of you." And also asking me, "What are you thinking?" The best part though is when she said, "Well maybe we should announce it when we go to the graduation party at Ramstack's this afternoon. I'll just say, 'Hey everybody! My son Andrew went to college and now he's back and guess what? He's realized that he loves boys!'" I also think I heard her mutter something about "Aids" and "Patrick was right" as I was getting into the bathroom to shower. Later today we had a slightly more civil conversation on the stairs. But even that didn't go well. It started off with her saying, "You know I knew things would be different when you came home. After the first year of college kids are more independent they have their freedom...but...I wasn't prepared for THIS." So I tried to explain things to her. Tried to tell her that I'm not surprised she didn't understand because it wasn't an easy thing to wrap your head around. I even tried to compare it to choosing a canidate for an election but instead of looking at Democrat or Republican you look at the canidate themselves. But I think she took that more as I was saying, "You couldn't possibly understand me!" At least she went on to tell me that I always prided myself on being "different" and she thought that many times I did things like this for all the wrong reasons. Stuff like that. Like I CHOSE to be bisexual and leave my phone for her to look at just so I could be dramatic and have attention......right. I love that. :)

I also brought up to her the fact that out of everyone I told, she was the ONLY person to ever have a problem with it. I don't think she liked that either because she said, "Oh. Okay. Well why don't you just tell EVERYONE then and see who has a problem with it. Here. Why don't we call your grandparents and you can tell them? Or tell your FATHER. Or your BROTHER. Tell anyone that TRULY loves you and see what THEIR reaction is to it." I don't remember what else we talked about, but the point is she didn't understand.

Thankfully she left shortly after that for a few hours. I mean when she got back things were still tense, but at least she wasn't freaking out. Except then we had to go to a graduation party together with Dillon. I was just thankful that he could be there so my mom didn't try to have another freak out on the way over. I wasn't looking forward to going because I thought it'd be kind of weird and awkward to see everyone I haven't seen in a year. And it was both weird and awkward. But in a way I'm so glad we went. My mom got to spend three hours just sitting and talking with her friends and I think it mellowed her out a little because on the way home things were more normal. And when we got back to the house we actually had normal conversation. I can only hope its a sign that she'll get over it. Honestly the reason I was kind of taken aback by the whole thing was that I thought we already did this last April? Didn't she find out about me being bisexual last April or did I imagine that? So I don't know if she let herself think that it was just a phase? Or that I was never going to act on what I was feeling? Or if I just led her to believe that I was just "confused". I have no idea. Either way I hadn't planned for this.

-sigh-

I'm sure she'll get over it eventually. I mean I really hope she will.

I don't feel like finding a new place to live. =)

Love and Stuff,
Andrew

Loserdom

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sat, 09 May 2009 17:28:53 GMT

Okay. So I known this shouldn't really matter, but I'm going to complain about it anyway. None of my "friends" can help me take my loft bed down (its like a two or three person job) and I have to turn it in by four. And I kind of have to get it out of here by 1 because that's when "intense study hours" begin again.

I mean seriously? What the fuck? And its not just the loft thing, like with my dorm friends, its never letting me know when they're doing stuff. They'll have all these big plans with "our group" and just not tell me until it comes up in conversation when I happen to be around. And then I don't know if I'm invited or not and feel super awkward asking! Why is it that all of a sudden at the end of the school year I feel like no one gives a damn about me? This is kind of ridiculous. When can I come home? I miss the people I had there. =(

ADSF;LJAS DFPOIJ ASDOF;JAFJWAE'RJFIPADSJFJ-Q1-3RJWE0DFSU9VJZC;

Another Day, Another Latte

definenormal@hotmail.com — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 03:20:03 GMT

By now you should probably be able to guess where I am. And if you need a hint, then I'll clue you into the fact that I'm currently enjoying a double chai made with chocolate soy milk.

That's right, I'm back at Java. This time mainly because I have nothing else to do and no where else to go. I mean my dorm room is pretty boring and severely lacks in Espresso and Jamaican coffee. Plus sitting in a coffee shop really does help me to focus better. Plus I can torrent on this network! Huzzah!

Okay, so not going to lie, I've had a very boring day.

I woke up with just enough time to shower, get dressed, and go to theory. Theory itself was incredibly dull. And then I had to spend two hours after theory typing up the theory project I had written the night before. Sometime during this period, Liz texts me and asks if I wanna meet her for lunch at Whitney (our cafeteria, the Whitney Center) at noon. I said sure, but since I finished a little before that I went to go check to see if the Hair audition results were posted, since they said it'd be around noon.

Turns out they were. My friends Zach, Lindsay, Jillian, Nick, and Alex all got parts. I'd tell you what they were, but honestly I don't know the show at all. And pretty much everyone got into the "tribe"/chorus...except for Ashley.

And I'm not going to lie, I'm seriously confused by this. Ashley can sing better than most of the girls cast, and she danced circles around them too! So wtf? I'm pissed for her! It makes absolutely no sense. My friend Kelsey didn't get in either, and she's also a great singer and has been dancing for 12 years!!

...I swear, I do not understand our theater department sometimes.

But yeah, after that I went to lunch with Liz and that was relatively uneventful, except for the fact that Natalie and I decided that we were going to skip World Theater and go to Java instead because she'd been up late the night before and needed coffee. So when Liz went back to her dorm, I met Natalie where she was getting out of class. And almost as soon as we started walking we here, "Hey! Hey! You two! Turn your butts around!" And we look across the street and see our friends Allyssa, Anna, and Alden (I have a lot of friends with 'A' names...) Allyssa and Anna being on their way to World Theater.

....but instead of complying we simply stole Alden from them and made them promise to meet us after class. Which they did. And then while Alden and I went back to my room to ~~have incredibly hot gay sex~~ grab my Java Detour travel mug Natalie went to the sub shop and grabbed Ashley and Andy who were getting lunch. And we all went to Java!

Why? Why you ask? Because we can and we're good at throwing rings!

-sigh-

I miss you guys sometimes. If only because no one else seems to think our inside jokes are as hilarious as we do! ....wonder why?

Anyway, we hung out in Java for awhile. Drank coffee, discussed movies, music, and current events. Very collegiate. Eventually Andy and Alden left to go ~~have slightly less hot gay sex (because I wasn't involved obviously)~~ practice music, but its all right, because a few minutes later we were joined by Allyssa and Anna who had just gotten out of the class we skipped! It was actually pretty funny because when we told her what we were doing, the cute barista was all like, "Good for you guys! I think everyone needs more personal health days, you know?"

Sadly we had to leave Anna and Allyssa after about twenty minutes because Ashley, Natalie, and I had choir, which I was really debating on skipping. It is SO BORING.

I mean the songs Dr. Walth picked for this concert aren't all that terrible (although I do hate two of them he ALWAYS insists on doing) but I've learned them...I'm ready to move on and stop practicing, you know? And every time we stop and work on something, its either A) not my section or B) not something I'd personally been having a problem with. Its very frustrating and also the reason why a lot of times I don't like large performance groups. Plus we're singing a really boring song called, "My God How Wonderful Thou Art" ....yeah....its kind of like being in church...except the song sucks and no one wants to sing it! XD

Anyway, after choir I chilled in my room for a while. But then I started watching Twilight for the scenes that didn't make me cringe, but then they showed the scene where the Cullens were making human food, and it made me really hungry! Only none of my friends wanted to get food! Luckily, I ran into some of my dorm friends who were on their way to eat. So I joined their huge party.

That was both a good and a bad thing. It was good because I ate (yay food!) but it was kinda bad because one of the people in the group is this guy named Chris who always flirts with me. Now you'd think this wouldn't be a problem, but its just kind of saddening because I know that he's straight and its depressing that all his flirting isn't going to amount to anything.

Oh well. It wasn't a huge deal, it just made me kind of lonely. And in order to placate my loneliness and boredom, I came to Java! And on the way I listened to Mel's recording of "Brother's Lullaby" which made me happy and less lonely.

-X-

All right, I'm no longer sitting in Java. I had to be back for a dorm wing meeting about closing procedures. It took about ten minutes and I really just learned that I can't throw my furniture out the window and onto the back of a truck....

Exciting news though! I was chatting up/flirting with the two cute barista girls at Java as I was leaving and one of them goes, "Hey. Do you want a doughnut?" So now I have five doughnuts and an apple fritter the size of your head (no lie) and I got it all FOR FREE!!!

It was also kind of amusing because one of the girls turned to the other one and went, "We can do this...right?" and I was like, "Its totally okay, this is the second time this has happened!" Which is true. Except the first time it was a really cute guy who gave them to me. Code Name "Java Geoff" if I haven't mentioned him. Extremely cute, extremely flirty, may or may not like boys.

-sigh-

I love it when I get things for being a flirt. ^_^

Anyway! Second piece of good news: I found out that my World Theater final is take home! Woohoo! Now my only exams are on the Wednesday of exam week! Kick Ass!!

Life is good, huh? At least I hope all your lives are going well. You know, minus parental frustrations and whatnot. As for me, I'm just happy with the good friends, the cute boys, and the coffee...lots and lots of coffee.

Love and Stuff!

-Andrew

P.S. I LOVE SUFJAN STEVENS (thought you should know ~_^)

Java, Compositions, and General Insanity

definenormal@hotmail.com — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 22:49:10 GMT

So here I am sitting at Java Detour with Allyssa and Natalie. Which, let me tell you, is a familiar sight around La Crosse. Particularly to the employees of said coffee shop. And, as is usual at almost five in the afternoon, the place is pretty dead.

Oh! Wait! An elderly couple just came in!

Anyway, we're sitting here because Natalie and I decided we didn't want to go to choir today. So we got some coffee (I bought a Java Detour coffee mug!) whipped out our computers and have been sitting ever since. Oh the college life. But in my defense, who can turn down free refills?

Other than our "exciting Java adventures" today has been pretty boring. I woke up about four times before actually getting out of bed at 8:35 for my 8:50. Sadly that seems to be becoming more and more of a daily occurrence...and then I went to "Sight Reading/Aural Skills" and sight-sang and did theory things for like an hour. Then I hung around sleepily for about an hour, facebooking and whatnot. And then I got to go to comm. and waste about an hour and a half on...well...I don't actually know what. We did an activity to show the differences between qualitative and quantitative surveys, but it wasn't particularly enlightening so it was more of a waste of time than a learning experience....but even if it had been highly educational I doubt I would've had the ability to pay attention. I hadn't eaten yet and I was starving! So I walked with Ashley for a while and then grabbed a sack lunch before heading to Acting.

Since we aren't "technically" allowed to eat in the Frederick (our smaller theater where we (obviously) have Acting class) I had to attempt to scarf down an egg salad sandwich without eating too fast and choking. I was excited though, because Mary, our professor, had said that today we were going to do more monologue work and after my practice with Ashley and Allyssa last night, I felt really ready.

Instead we filled out an instructor evaluation, and then played theater games the rest of the hour and a half. Now don't get me wrong, I love theater games, but when we have a monologue and a partnered comedic scene that have to be performed next week (NOTE: we've only had one day in class to work on these scenes) it seems a little silly to be playing games. Maybe that's just me? Although the games we played were pretty cool. We did some game where you stand in a circle and pass a sound/action and its like a domino effect. Then we did the "machine game" which I think we've all played before. Then we got to play this game called "Freeze" which I'm pretty sure I've played before. You and two other people act something random out and then the director yells "freeze!" and then she chooses someone out of the three to start a new scene building off of their frozen pose. It was fun! ^_^

Kind of insane...but fun!

Then we played Taxi! One of my all time favorite improv games. I got to be a slobbering drunk and a complaining asshole in the same three minutes! I was going to be a hooker, but our TA took it before I could. =( (Note: Our TA is a 31 year old straight guy. ^_^)

Like I said, overall really fun, but at the end we were all kind of like, "That was cool! ...now what the hell are we going to do about our scenes???"

Oh well. Cest la vie. Right?

I was still hungry after acting, so Natalie, my friend Liz, and I all went to Chars (a place to eat on campus) to grab some food. We sat on these couches they have there, and then spent a good hour just sitting watching mind-numbing TV. Now normally I'm not opposed to a little stupid television, but I am getting so sick of these pseudo-news shows that focus on celebrities and pop culture. For example the show we were watching, The Insider, spent over half of the program talking about a former "Golden Girl" Bea Arthur. Her death, an old interview blah blah blah. And I just went...why do I care?

I mean I guess it wouldn't have been so bad if they'd set it up a little bit better. If they just had a minute segment or two, but the way they threw it together just looked stupid. Their other "gripping news stories" consisted of Farah Fawcett's husband getting upset when paparazzi interrogated him coming home from the hospital (how dare he!) and a potential "Miss Universe" contestant fighting comments that she's too thin.

On the edge of your seats yet? Just wait. Then they spent a good three to five minutes dissecting the host's wardrobe and how you can buy virtually the same dress (which cost like 400 dollars) for under 13! Which would be great if the "cheap dress" didn't look completely different aside from being almost the same color....

I don't know. These kind of shows just bug me. I'm not trying to be a total hypocrite and say I'm not the least bit interested in celebrity or pop culture. I enjoy the occasional People magazine and shows like Chelsea Lately but this ridiculous focus on Hollywood and "A-Listers" is just insane. Its one thing to respect an artist for what they do and because of that enjoy hearing about what they're like. But its another thing to be obsessed with any celebrity becuase they're a celebrity.

Sorry for that little rant. But its just something that really bugged me. =p

Well after lunch/TV Liz went to work in the Theater office, and Natalie and I came to Java where we're still sitting an hour and a half later. Part of that is because Natalie found out today that her and Allyssa's fourth roommate for next year dropped out which means Natalie is out $275 dollars that she was planning on using when the choir went to Ireland. The girl was kind of on the fence, but she told them she probably would come through, and since the lease needed signing, Natalie just paid her share too. But now she's screwed unless she can find a roommate....soon...PLUS she's got a speech to finish before tomorrow and she still hasn't started. Hmm...remind you of anyone from last semester? ~_^

So Natalie is kind of freaking out. It doesn't help that she has to work tonight, but other than that its been really nice sitting here! Although in my head I'm making a list of all of the things I need to do as soon as I leave. My theory composition, my research paper for communications, a play journal for World Theater, paperwork for Awareness Through Performance....lets just say knowing that all of that is waiting for me isn't helping me want to leave...

Its all right. I'll get it all done. None of it is particularly hard. Its starting it that's the most difficult.

Also! An update on the Hair front. Zach and my friends Amy, Lindsay, Nick, and Jillian got called back to audition for leads tonight! So I guess even if you totally fuck up its okay as long as you know the director! ~_^

Zach was also really sweet today in acting. He kind of pulled me aside and thanked me for being so supportive after he (in his words) fucked up his audition. He said he really appreciated it. Which was really nice of him. I like being appreciated! =)

Anyway, this post has grown (once again) to ridiculous lengths and Natalie has left for work, so I should really go. The mountain of things to do is threatening to come crashing down around me. 0_o

I hope everything is well with everyone, and if I feel the urge/have the time you may see another post from me later tonight. Depends how I'm feeling.

Love and Stuff!

-Andrew

Auditions, Coffee, And the Green Room

definenormal@hotmail.com — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 06:52:36 GMT

Okay. There has got to be some sort of irony in the fact that I didn't post in this thing for over a year and then had the urge to write three journal entries in a night. Since when do I enjoy sharing my feelings this much?

Well regardless, I'm gonna try to keep this short.

As previously mentioned, I auditioned for Hair trying out for "experience only" and let me just say, everyone was extremely jealous. Not because of my singing, or dancing, but mostly because I didn't have anything to worry about. And I've got to admit, it was really nice. No worries. Just there to have fun. It makes me really wish I could just harness that and stop caring about the shows I auditioned for. It'd make things so much easier, don't you think?

Anyway, I get there and of course there's a TON of people. And a lot of them are UWL Theater/Choir people so I'm familiar with them. But since the Summer Stage productions are "technically" community shows, there were some people from Viterbo (a private school in La Crosse) there along with two adults.

The auditions were pretty normal, we signed up for a group time for our "singing audition" and then around 6-something we all went in to dance. The dance itself was pretty cool. Especially since (in the words of the choreographer) we were supposed to look like we were on LSD or some other mind-altering drug. So it wasn't as important if we didn't get the steps just right. Jolly for us, huh?

So we learn the dance, its pretty easy. A lot of kind of weird flailing involved though. But it was fun. Although I'm a little afraid to ask anyone how I looked since I'm sure the real answer would be "ridiculous". Some people were awesome though. Ashley for her part did WAY better than I expected her to. And in the end where we were supposed to "improvise" she rocked it! I mean she was super sexual, but it worked for the song. And I mean, its the 70s. Needless to say it was fun to watch. :)

Then there were singing auditions which I wasn't too nervous for. Especially since I was singing "What Do You Do With a B.A. in English?" From Avenue Q. And as far as auditions go, it wasn't that difficult. We sang our little bit, then the pianist/music director had us sing a line and then the second time she'd make harmony to see if we could hold our part. Although apparently when Ashley auditioned (she was the first one) the pianist just told her, "Now I'm going to sing with you." after she sang it the first time....okay this is SUPER random...but my roommate just SANG IN HIS SLEEP.....weeeeiird. (yet hilarious)

...Anyway. so when Ashley sang it again, she started singing "her part" but then jumped to the woman's harmony part because she thought she was supposed to sing with her....needless to say the woman was clearer from then on.

As for my group? Well there was a girl who beautifully sang a bit of "The Sound of Music". A really cheesy kid from Viterbo who seemed fake-nice and sang the oh-so appropriate "Nicest Kids in Town" from Hairspray. There was my friend Kenny who sang "Dancing Through Life" and forgot the words. Justin Schmitz who butchered "As Long As You're Mine" ...and then there was Zach....

Some of you might remember me talking about Zach. He's the freshman Theater Performance major who got a lead in every show up until Balkan Women. That Zach. Now he and I are friends so I say this out of nothing but true honesty. He totally fucked up. Now Zach has a pretty high voice, and while its more classical, I was sort of excited when he said he was singing "One Song Glory" from Rent. I mean I thought it was kind of a stupid move seeing as how we're doing Rent next summer. But I never turn down hearing a good rendition of a song I like. And at first it was pretty good. I mean, it seemed a little bit high but he was hitting the notes. And then he had to go higher. And all of a sudden crack and...nothing. So he asks to start from a certain place and try again. And he gets that part this time around, but then he has to go higher.... crack...and then he just said, "Thank you. That'll be fine." and sits down.

I felt so bad. I mean, I've been there before, and it sucks. So I cheered him up with some universal truths and white lies. I mean what else could I do?

....And then I rocked it. :)

Thank God for being comfortable, right? I guess there's a lot to be said for literally having nothing to lose.

After my audition I waited around for some of my friends to be done and we all went to grab a late dinner at the sub shop. We met up with some people there and eventually had a pretty large group including Ashley, Andy Voelkel, and I. Plus my friends Natalie, Amy, and the aforementioned Kenny. It was at some point during this meal that Andy and I decided that we should grab some after-dinner coffee from Java Detour. So with the exception of Kenny we made our way over there and chatted in the coffee shop for half an hour or so. And after we all were heading back to our dorms I asked Ashley if she'd mind helping me with my monologue for Acting class.

If I haven't mentioned it, I'm doing a really sweet monologue from Dark Play or Stories for Boys. And at first we decided to practice in her room. And it was only until after we walked up all four flights of stairs that I remembered that I yell in this monologue...so we trekked back downstairs and over to the Center for the Arts (the CFA) to practice in the Green Room.

And it was there that we ran into our friend Allyssa who was working on her costume renderings. And by "working on" I mean "hadn't even started". Needless to say she was glad for the distraction. And oh what a distraction it was. We probably chatted for about a half hour to an hour before actually getting down to my monologue. Then I performed it three times or so and they gave me some great things to work on. And then we sat around and talked about life, friends, elementary school, and college until about 1 AM. Then (as is on most nights) I crept back into my dorm and prayed I wouldn't wake up my roommate...apart from the sleep-singing/talking I did pretty damn well!

However, it is now going on 2 o' clock in the morning, and this "short note" I promised has turned into quite the lengthy journal entry. I can only hope this has given you all something to waste your time with as you peruse the realm of the internet.

I'm not sure if this is going to become a regular thing, or if today was a fluke. But I really will try to update somewhat frequently. I've got to say its a lot nicer when I know people are actually going to read this thing.

Its like mail!....but not...

Love and Stuff!

-Andrew

Second Post of the Day

definenormal@hotmail.com — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 22:23:02 GMT

Yeah...real creative title for this one.

Well as far as new things to report, I've decided I'm auditioning for the summer musical! Hooray!

But before all of you hometown friends (you know who you are ; ] ) fret, its for "experience only" (its a little box you check when you just want to audition for the hell of it)

Mostly I just like auditioning. Is that weird? Plus its not a bad way to say, "In case you forgot....LOOK AT ME!!" So when it comes time for RENT and Into the Woods next year they'll know how utterly brilliant I am! (note sarcasm)

And then after that perhaps I'll do my theory project. That'd probably be a good plan, eh? In theory (ha.ha.) it shouldn't be that difficult. I'm just supposed to do variations on a well-known song. So I'm stealing the first verse of "Amazing Grace" and...varying...it...

But before that, ANOTHER stunning revelation! I have had NO caffeine today! NONE! And I guess to you guys that probably isn't a huge deal, but any of my college friends would be shocked. For some reason this semester, and especially the last few weeks, I've found myself drinking a LOT of coffee and just caffeine in general. It's actually kind of ridiculous.

Will I keep it up? Who knows! I might have to get coffee after my audition. ; ]

So yes. That is the plan for tonight. I'm not as busy as SOME of you seem to be. But if I run out of things to do, I suppose I could always go flirt/talk to/ogle my harem of men that Melissa is still convinced I have. (SO WISH)

(One more thing) SPEAKING of hot men, last Thursday I discovered two things. 1) Yes, Zac Efron can get hotter, and 2) They have a college student Thursday special at our local Marcus Theater! AKA I saw 17 Again last Thursday. SO GOOOOD!!

So yeah. It's like 5:23 so I have to change and whatnot before auditions at 6:00. But I'll try to post more often my lovelies!!

LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

P.S. I emailed that prospective freshman. She seemed happy to hear from me. :)

Crazy Busy

definenormal@hotmail.com — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:37:55 GMT

I never write in this thing.

I really only just started looking at the website itself a month or so ago when I realized that Mel actually updates hers, and seeing how awful we are at connecting via the telephone, it's a nice way to keep updated on her life. Or you know, to stalk her....but that's another story entirely.

Anyway. Life is relatively uninteresting right now. I mean there's nothing major or dramatic going on, although seeing as its pretty damn close to the end of term I'm starting to get a little worried about things. Music Theory mostly. I have NOT been keeping up with that class and now I'm seriously afraid I'm going to fail it. I mean there's still two worksheets, two projects, and a final, but I'm not sure if that can save me entirely, you know?

And THEN I found out today that the employment papers I've been avoiding filling out (mostly because I have no idea how to fill them out) were due Friday, and I need to get them in "ASAP".....shit, right? I just hope they aren't as ridiculously complicated as they seem, or that someone can help me fill them out?

Aarrrgh!

If its any consolation, my other classes are going well! (I think?) And we're almost done performing The Balkan Women so that's kind of exciting. It'll be nice to have free time again. Although its only going to be like a week because then we're done with school...but still!

Um...I guess that's it for now, I mean there's more to tell, but I still need to pick up lunch and read a play before 1 o' clock. I've also got to shoot an email to a prospective freshman at some point. She sent it to me over Easter and I just haven't had the time (or the memory) to get back to her.

So as usually, crazy busy, gotta go!

Love!

College and Exams (mostly Exams)

definenormal@hotmail.com — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 21:53:09 GMT

So! I haven't posted here for what feels like forever, but today I really feel like I should.

Exams started today and to be honest I wasn't too worried about my AP English exam ... Aparently I should have been. All it was was an in-class essay on Fifth Business which, in theory, shouldn't be too hard, but I don't know what happened! Part of it (as lame as it sounds) was that we had to do it in pen. There was no way to erase it or really draft it that much, so what I wrote I kind of had to stick with.

It Sucked.

And throughout the whole thing all I was thinking is 'this sucks this sucks this scuks this sucks' only I couldn't do anything about it because we didn't have that much time!

So I probably lost my A for that class. Not fun.

And then I feel really unprepared for my FST exam. I haven't done the review yet, but hopefully that will help. I doubt it, but who knows? Either way I don't get a notecard, so whatever.

My other exams are ridiculously easy. To be honest, if I don't get A's on all of them someone should just shoot me. Really, please do.

I'm also not sure if I've gotten into any colleges yet. I'm not even sure if my Guidance counselor has sent my transcripts! I really hope he has. I'd like to get in somewhere!

Oh well, I guess I'm just feeling restless. But I *am* listening to Imogen Heap which makes me happy, because she's AWESOME.

But really, I should probably finish applying to NYU and University of Washington tonight.

I'll try not to be a stranger.

-Andrew

Seme or Uke?

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 05:17:16 GMT

Well. . .apparently. . ..

Discover if You are Seme or Uke!
Created by ChiisaiYume on Memegen.net

This is the result if Uke-in-Training! has the highest score.

Take this quiz now - it's easy!

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 04:33:26 GMT

Who doesn't like pizza, I mean honestly? :)= (vampire smiley)

Mix With Me!

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 04:12:24 GMT

This is the original potion thing.

The Potion Maker
definenormal140ium is a translucent, grainy scarlet powder extracted from the pollen of a forget-me-not.
Mix with definenormal140! Username:
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

Potions

definenormal@hotmail.com — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 04:10:39 GMT

This is so cool!

The Potion Maker
moon_maiden36ium is a cloudy, crumbly green solid derived from the flower of the eternity tree.
definenormal140ium is a translucent, grainy scarlet powder extracted from the pollen of a forget-me-not.
Mixing moon_maiden36ium with definenormal140ium causes a violent chemical reaction, producing an opaque opalescent potion which gives the user protection from death.
Yet another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern

Unusually Weird

definenormal@hotmail.com — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 03:27:59 GMT

I've been feeling funny lately. Well, I guess funny isn't really the right word. More just. . . . . .spuratic. My emotions have been spuratic. That's a little moreo accurate I guess.

Well, if you're wondering why I'm rambling like an idiot, it's just because I've realized how strange this year has been. Everything seems so surreal. I don't know if it's because I'm a junior, or just because I'm crazy, but I've gone from feeling empty, to feeling happy, to feeling nauseous all in the span of two days.

I'm not going to pretend to understand my unusual weirdness, but it could have something to do with the fact that it doesn't feel as though last year ever ended. Where did the summer go?

It also might have something to do with the fact that time is seemingly going very fast and very slow all at once. It feels like we started school a week ago, but homecoming has come and gone and Night On Broadway is this weekend. When did that happen? Wasn't it just a couple days ago I was picking out my audition song?

Life's being crazy, and as a result so am I.

I either need professional help or more sleep. For now, I'll go for sleep.

Night

-DefineNormal